Counting on Forever
by retrogradation
Summary: Again and again, the Volturi had threatened Edward and Bella's love; bound by duty to the authorities, Edward was called up to help them fight an unruly clan. With an exchange of letters, the star-crossed lovers hoped to keep their love alive, but when Edward went missing, everything is suddenly up for fate to decide. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize :)

Bella's breaths fell heavy against the humid summer air, as she gasped again and again, throat caught up and halted with emotion. _In movies, they never cry like this_, she thought. The protagonist would clutch her handkerchief delicately as her tears fell silently from mascara-coated lashes; a quiet mourning, as opposed to this ugly, loud, and desperate one. The town knew she couldn't handle being on her own without her husband, and she'd fervently denied the rumors before Edward left, but now, facing the brick wall at the apex of her utter depression, Bella knew that her thoughts could barely function properly without the presence of her other half.

Her thoughts traced back to the day – four months ago – when Edward told her that he had to leave to go help the Volturi get rid of a clan that had threatened to expose the existence of vampires; "coming out of the coffin," they had joked. The Volturi practically owned him, she knew that, and the vampire authorities were not eager to soften the rules, since Bella was technically breaking the rules herself by knowing about vampires. Of course Edward, being the hopeless romantic who could never let go of his long buried human nature, had to spill the beans to Bella. It was a disgusting, yet amusing cliché, the members of the Volutri had commented during the time of their trial.

"_Bella, I'm so sorry, but you know that I have no choice. My duties are forever tied to the debt that I'd bestowed upon myself." His cold fingers grasped mine, as I faced him with a look composed of both incredulity and anger. This was not just his decision to make._

"_You promised you'd never leave me." A hopeless plea, my last call in sheer hopes that he'd be lying revealed my despair as my voice cracked; he pulled me into a tight embrace, marble arms encircling my waist._

"_I'm sorry, Bella" he whispered again, "It was not my decision to make"_

"_You could have told me earlier " I paused, but I knew that he would have never agreed to let me speak with the authorities. Aro hated us enough. "You could turn me." I grasped his arm with renewed hope; "I can go with you." His answer was silent, but the rejection of my idea was blatant from his posture; avoiding my gaze, Edward turned towards the floor. "I can't do that, and you know it, Bella." _

_Infuriated, I could not grasp the idea of going on with my life without him. He couldn't just pop in and pop out for war, without me by his side. _

"_If I don't return" He pretended not to see my anger, "I hope you will know that my last thoughts would only be of you." He turned back, eyes staring deep into me, and I couldn't stay angry. I could never stay angry and he knew it was my weakness._

"_Oh Edward" I whispered weakly, tightening my arms around his icy frame. _

"_I will write you letters" he smiled, but the smile didn't touch his eyes, "It's a very human thing to do" he kissed my forehead; neither of us laughed at that joke. This moment was too tense. Without my consent, my eyes began to water and I looked down at my feet, pressing the side of my face against his crisp shirt with a gentle inhalation. He smelled like home. Where would I be without my home? I'd be so lost. Edward kissed the tears as they slid down my cheeks, and proceeded to press his lips against mine. There was a new sense of urgency in this kiss and I returned his push with my shove, pressing my body against his, hoping that if I could just stall him now, I'd be able to keep him from walking out the door. _

_Alas, my hopes were still crushed when he pulled away gently. His eyes remained closed as he held me in his embrace, which I reveled for the last time. _

_When his eyelids opened again, his gaze focused on me, before it turned towards the door._

It had been weeks since Edward left. He did send me letters, what a human thing to do. I waited a week before the first letter came…

My dearest,

I miss you, but you know that. I crave your presence so much, and despite the time we'd spent together was such a short fraction of my 900 years, I feel like I've loved you for a lifetime. The feeling of standing in the cold alone at night has become foreign to me, as you have spoiled me so with the warmth of your constant embrace. I miss making you blush, your crazy laugh, your attempt at vampire jokes and the look in your eyes when you smile. If the Volturi hadn't bound me to this task, I would be by your side (yet I am not).

The coven is currently in South America, and we are at the present moment halfway there; we plan to find them tomorrow. I hope this letter was human enough for you; I do not write love letters often (as a matter of fact, I never have). You bring out the best in me.

Do not do anything reckless, Mrs. Cullen. I plan to find you well and intact upon my return.

It pains me to know that if you get hurt, I would not be there to hold you.

I love you.

Sincerely,.

Edward Anthony Masen Cullen

My reaction to his letter was bizarre, to say the least. I slept with it every night and wrote a letter back the minute I could properly function, addressing it to the Volutri's building of residence and hoping that Edward would get it.

Dear Edward,

I'm proud, the letter was impressive. I miss you; so much you wouldn't believe. Life here in Forks is extremely dull; it seems as if I'd forgotten how to live ever since you came into my life. There is no point of trying anything new while you're not here; I've tried to seek happiness in the comfort of my old friends but they are shallow and attempt to comfort me by the means of purchasing expensive clothing. I haven't done anything stupid (yet), and I am proud of you for helping the Volutri find the clan so early; the earlier you're finished, the earlier you'll come home. Come home soon, my love. Come home, and come home safe.

I love you.

Sincerely,

Isabella Marie Swan-Cullen

For two weeks, I checked my mail box and practically harassed the mailman, only to have my hopes be met with sheer disappointment. One day, my reply arrived.

**Dear Bella,**

**This is Demitri – I'm afraid I have some very unpleasant news**– I paused, and with a heart full of dread, took a breath and read on. Maybe if I pretended to be brave, the pretense would actually kick in.

**Edward has been captured by one of the coven's members, and we cannot reach him, nor track him down at the moment. It is presumed that they plan to use him for ransom, but the Volutri cannot afford to bother themselves with such hassle for a small clan. I attempted to protest, but Aro and Caius refused, and Marcus's resilience marked our plans; we had to depart without Edward. Before we had approached the clan, Edward told me to let you know, if anything happened, that he loved you and read every single letter you wrote; he just never had a chance to write back. **

**Words cannot properly express how truly sorry I am. I can only hope that he will return to you safely by his own strength. The Volturi has backed out of the conflict.**

**Demitri Volturi**

I stood there for hours, staring at that letter motionlessly until I gave up, sinking down onto the floor, holding my breath in silent shock. _Edward might be dead. Edward might be dead. Edward might be dead_. The ugly words began to take effect as I began to shake with sobs, crumpling up into a heap by the door. The letter fell from my hands as I slowly but surely fell apart.

_She walked down the aisle, wearing a borrowed royal blue dress and put her veil down so no one could see the tears falling from her eyes. To her surprise, at the end of the aisle stood her love. Edward fidgeted with his sleeves, as handsome as ever, looking up with his golden eyes at his bride to be. This was what perfection felt like, she thought. The world seemed to fade out into the background as she walked towards her beloved, hands reached out in an attempt to cradle his face. He was real, and she wanted to prove it to herself. To her surprise, when she reached out to stroke his cheek, he disappeared, and all she was touching was the cold crisp air that had drifted in from an open window. Charlie came up beside her, patting her shoulder and trying to comfort his daughter unsuccessfully._

_"Bells, I'm sorry honey…he's not coming back…" She looked down, and noticed that the bouquet of flowers in her hands were wilting, drying up, and crumbling into a dust pile at her feet. Everyone she knew came up to her, all whispering the same sentence in monotonous voices… "He's not coming back now"._

Bella opened her eyes, waking up from a nightmare by her own screams…

She gasped for air, sitting up from the floor where she'd passed out from tired crying. It was all just a nightmare.

Bella grasped on to every inch of hope she had left, every day waiting and praying for Edward to turn up at her front door. She made an effort to live, just for the benefit of Charlie, and everyone else she loved and was not willing to hurt. But there was a hole in her chest where her heart used to be.

After an awkward encounter with Charlie, Bella gladly watched her father resign from attempted conversation, leaving her on her own again. She stuck a plate of leftover lasagna in the microwave, setting the timer, turning around to take out the milk from the fridge.

She opened the fridge door, and before her hand reached the carton, she felt a pair of arms hug her around the waist, and a velvety voice registered in her mind, making her heart sing:

"Bella, I'm home."

**I hope you liked that one-shot! It was very emotional for me to write, and I loved the lyrics from the song where it said:**

Something borrowed, something blue...

and when the church doors, opened up watch her put her veil down,

Trying to hide the tears.. oh she just couldn't believe it

And the trumpets from the military band, and the flowers, that she's never had,

Baby why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go? I was counting on forever, now I'll never know..

This is just a dream... it's like I'm looking from a distance standing in the background,

Everybody's saying he's not coming home now... this can't be happening to me..

This is just a dream..

If anyone wants me to send them the song, review/PM me or something and I'll send it to you :)

**Please review - they make me so happy it's unbelievable. :)**

**ox****A****mz**


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